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Sunday, May 12, 2019

that feeling when you started to think that you're not yourself anymore

before 2019, i was thinking that if it's new year, it really means that everything is gonna be new. and of course, different.

i was hoping that there will be big changes in my life but, nothing is really new this year. the new me, new life is indeed BS.

i was hoping that i will found myself again this year but i think i kind of, lost. everything is pitch black & i don't even know why. like... why is this happening again? i never asked for this in this year though.

i feel like i'm not myself anymore and i actually don't know what should i do with it. this is like some kind of loads that i have to carry on my shoulders, yet no one that really knows me, knows about this. so much for the love of family & friends, huh? sorry, i never blame them for what i feel. it's just, this kind of topic is too deep and it's not like everyone could actually understand it. 

it will only sparks paranoia inside them.

have a good day, everyone :)

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  1. why is it that i think it has been so long since I'm here. hi there welcome back i guess ^^

  2. hey ray. yeah. it has been so long since the last update too. thanks lol. and i love that look on your blog. it looked so simple yet so beautiful! also, i forgot to put your blog url on my blog list. i'm really sorry for that but i'll put it later once i got my laptop back :)

  3. finally, a post. i've been waiting. yeah, no one could understand. i feel you. don't push yourself too hard to figure out what are those feelings. do it slowly. may you have a better day, a better you :)

  4. Who knows it is time for us to tear off that old skin? :)

    I have learnt that there are things that bounded to happen in life and rather than refusing them, rather than crying to that music, I jazz around instead.

  5. just write it. it has helped me well.